May 2008

There are two types of ‘relationship people’, those that are in a monogamous, or so they desperately hope, relationship and those that are playing the field.
Traditionally the ‘playing the field’ role was left to men, but with the advent of the modern bra burning - I only shave when I want to - woman it’s become an area frequented by both sexes.  Apparently it’s the most fun a girl can have! I however have my doubts.

These doubts might be because the last time I played the field was when I was at university. Ah university, the place where a fancy date consisted of being able to order and eat your own pizza. The home of practical romance – the place where a guy, if he really likes you, buys you food and you know he loves you if he buys you cheese. Think of food as the equivalent of flowers for a university student and cheese as the ultimate bouquet.
I can’t seem to get these ‘playing the field’ images out of my mind. Who knew mediocre pizza and an assortment of cheese would be so unforgettable? These trappings that were magical when I was 19 no longer hold the gleam they once did. They’re like a supermodel past her sell-by-date.
Once you start working you can afford to stock your own fridge and you can afford all the cheese you desire. If you think about it like that then there really is no need to play the field.

When you’re young you have no idea what far reaching consequences your decisions have. It’s all about living in the moment. It’s totally uncool to worry or be horribly stressed out. Worrying would mean you care, and caring is just so, well so grown-up!
Being young means focusing, for many, on doing the utmost damage to your body. Unhealthy living; bad eating habits, lack of exercise, drinking, smoking, experimenting with drugs, having unprotected sex with random partners and who knows what else. It’s a time in people’s lives where waking up on a Saturday without a hangover means you failed!
I could never figure out why we treat our body with such disrespect when we’re young. I now think that it might be because when you’re young you can’t imagine being old! You can’t see how what you’re doing to yourself to today is going to come back and kick you in the bum in 40 years time.
For some people their blinkered decisions come back to haunt them way earlier. Imagine contracting HIV because you had unprotected sex, or picture dying from an overdose because you got hooked on that drug that was supposedly just for fun. I suppose we protect ourselves by saying “things like that don’t happen to people like me”. The truth is they do, they happen to everyone. Bad decisions are not class sensitive, but they are made by people who lack foresight. It would be really great it they started teaching that at schools.

In relationships almost anything can be forgiven, that is with the exception of cheating. The one place you can never return from is the dreaded shadow-land that is The Cheaters Kingdom. No matter what you do or say your cheating will hang over you like a cheap, ill-fitting Salvation Army coat whose stench remains behind long after you’ve stopped wearing it.
Was that last line a tad melodramatic? I was trying to drive the point home and I think I might have gone a little overboard.
Well I suppose when your relationship is going swimmingly, when there is no temptation, it’s easy to judge those that visit the murky depths of cheating. Why on earth don’t they just speak to their partner, why don’t they tell them how they feel? How hard can it really be to communicate with the person you supposedly love!
Apparently it’s not as simple as that. For some people it’s like a calling that they just can’t ignore. A bit like having the best chocolate cake you’ve ever taste in your fridge when you’re on diet.
Whatever the reasons I don’t believe it’s OK to cheat. I think it’s gutless. I do, however, understand  - on some level – how it can happen. It’s so easy to dress things up, so tempting to throw a fancy dress party where the guest of honour is your conscience. It requires less guts than doing the right thing, but it definitely appeals to the coward in all of us.