February 2009

Yesterday the Cape Times ran a front page piece titled “Malema a Garden Gnome”. Shocking! I know I was also completely lost for words … what exactly did the garden gnomes - as a minority group - do to deserve this?

It’s obvious gnomism and it should not be tolerated.

I’ve been working on my own theory of evolution - I believe that a huge chunk of us humans descended from the ostriches.

All the signs are there.

Banks bankrupting themselves, hedge funds going down in a steaming pile of compost, significant job losses across all sectors and the list of recession style happenings goes on and on. Yet (incredulously) there are people who still think nothing is wrong. They bury their heads in the metaphorical sand and trust that by doing so they’ll completely avoid the meltdown.

This is Ostrich Logic and it works in the most delightful way - if you can’t see the problem it doesn’t exist and if it doesn’t exist there is no problem.

What do you do with these avoidant ostrich descendents? Well I’m you could just accept that they’re different and let them carry on being or you could eat them.

I’m pretty sure that those that have descended from ostriches (i.e. politicians) taste way better than those that descended from apes. With a little bit of sauce and some basting you’d be hard-pressed to notice the difference.