March 2009

You are currently browsing the monthly archive for March 2009.

Dear Mr D Lama

March 23, 2009 | 4 comments

Dear Mr D Lama,

I’m sorry to inform you that your visa, for South Africa, has been rejected. The following reasons (for rejection) were cited:
  1. We’re in bed with the Chinese. Last Christmas they sent us Romex watches and Pradya glasses - what did you send?
  2. After the f*ck up with the Confederations Cup we’re trying to keep all the attention on the Soccer World Cup. Basic human rights violations (look to our Zimbabwean neighbours for confirmation) can’t compete with The 2010 Soccer World Cup.
  3. No one important (i.e. not Mr Zuma nor Mr Malema) invited you.
Yours Sincerely,
Mr I Dontgiveasheet

Onion Rings

March 16, 2009 | 4 comments

I don’t get onion rings.

Battered and deep fried onion isn’t a type of food - they’re a mistake, like crocs only without the comfort factor.

Be Afraid

March 5, 2009 | 2 comments

Fear, what a paralysing bugger - probably the number one reason we don’t try anything new, apply for jobs we stand less than an 80% chance of getting or dance sober.

Successful individuals aren’t less afraid than the rest, they just manage their fear instead of allowing their fear to manage them.

Let’s talk about SPAM

March 2, 2009 | 2 comments

I’ve written a song - an ode of sorts - feel free to sing (or hum) along.

Let’s talk about SPAM baby
Let’s talk about you and Zoopy
Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things a free Macbook can mean
Let’s talk about SPAM