The House for Special Needs Animals

A cat, not mine, is presently in the house hiding from the rain. This cat is really tough (I mean REALLY tough) and he’s not afraid of anything except, as I recently discovered, tea towels. ‬

‪Sally, my family’s elderly sausage who is staying with us so she can recover from her recent face-lift and tummy tuck (courtesy of the family’s new Rottweiler) is stalking the cat. Did I mention she recently underwent major surgery? She’s also blind in one eye. From some angles she looks a little like Two-Face. ‬I’m not sure who I should worry about: tough cat with a fear of the tea towels or recently tucked and lifted sausage dog?

‪Dick Dastardly, the tuneless but sometime lovable parrot, won’t stay inside. He doesn’t like it, it doesn’t agree with him. ‬He prefers to spend his days outside, in his cage, like a sort-of-real-bird talking to the radio and hitting notes I don’t think exist.

‪The cat refuses to eat his rather delicious looking gourmet cat food. He wants the plebian stuff. Sally on the other hand is quite happy to eat all her food, all the cat’s food and some of my food. Dick Dastardly eats everything including his food. Among his favourite non-food snacks are blinds, couches, pillows, hair, hair bands (always a popular choice) shoes (especially the running kind) and his all time favourite snack has to be the DSTV remote.‬ He thinks it’s delicious.

After living with all of this an ANCYL President with wholly inappropriate investments and a desire to nationalise the mines just seems so passé.