What not to wear

Today I am wearing hideous shorts, a white shirt (on which I’ve just discovered the elderly sausage dog’s paw prints) and no shoes.

Today I forgot that a new supplier was coming to meet with me.

Today the new supplier (who looked absolutely immaculate) must have taken one look at me and wondered where my children were … I didn’t have the heart to tell her there are no children. Instead there is an old, half-blind and recently face-lifted and tummy tucked sausage dog; a possessed cat and a deranged parrot.