The New Method of Birth Control

I have discovered a new method of birth control. It’s unlikely to become a major rival of the pill, condoms and IUD’s, but techniques like the rhythm method had better watch out. Ladies hold onto your panties because I’m about to introduce you to something that’s going to blow that whole ‘I have a headache’ avoidance routine out of the water. I call this new method the “I have a life” approach.

For those of you that are interested here is how it works: Simply fill up your day. Pack it full of anything and everything you can imagine. It’s important that you get your partner to do the same after all birth control is both parties’ responsibility. Plus it’s nice to have buy-in and commitment from everyone involved, I personally find that it gives everyone a sense of ownership in the project.

By the time you both fall into bed in the evening you’ll be too exhausted to do anything more than spoon.

Just think of the long-reaching effects a method like this could have. If our government adopted this approach and they kept more children ridiculously busy there would be no need for that ridiculous ‘no kissing until you’re older that 16’ policy.

This could be really big. It’s going to be the thing that lands me a spot on Oprah’s couch. Now all I need is some stars to become early adopters and it’s guaranteed to be a success. I wonder if Britney Spears would be interested?